Monthly Archives: May 2010

Unless you have them, babies are screaming inconveniences destroying your peace in restaurants, wailing through weddings and turning otherwise rational adults into coo-ing, gibbering, sponge-brains. Spawning is a definite sign of ill-breeding. If your own little bundle of joy arrives, … Continue reading →

“I always take the kids to the allotment. It’s so important that our children understand where their food is coming from, isn’t it? They have to form a bond with the earth. Have to. We’re so removed from the planet, … Continue reading →

Declarations of joy whenever it is asparagus season, accompanied by lengthy and passionate explanations as to why you think locally grown English asparagus is far superior, should be followed by a complete failure to actually buy any of the stuff. … Continue reading →

By looking at pictures you become a better person. By being seen to look at pictures, you impress others, which is better still. So attend art galleries as often as you can. If anyone asks you your opinion it is … Continue reading →

The important thing is to attain the moral high ground. If you can accuse your opponent of racism, sexism, classism, fascism – or preferably a combination of the four – you are likely to emerge feeling far better about yourself. … Continue reading →