Monthly Archives: July 2010

It is essential to remember that you are not an alcoholic. You just drink because you like the flavour. The disadvantage of this important distinction is that it prevents you from being able to drink lager in public situations. It … Continue reading →

To fit in with your friends, it’s important that you be very bad at dancing. Fortunately, for most of us, cutting wobbly shapes on the dancefloor comes as naturally as farting to a dog. Unfortunately, for most of us, after … Continue reading →

The genius of the ever more popular burlesque scene is that it’s a strip-tease that middle class people can watch without feeling guilty. The argument is that the women with tassles on their titties don’t feel exploited, because, erm… They’re … Continue reading →

“Where’s your compost?” is one of the first questions you should ask upon being invited into someone else’s kitchen. Especially if you suspect that they do not keep one. Your own compost bin should be prominently displayed and filled up … Continue reading →

With your busy, important life, there’s no shame in employing a cleaner. A cleaner is simply someone who does a job you don’t have the time or skill to do. Really, it’s no different to employing a doctor, an accountant, … Continue reading →