Dancing

To fit in with your friends, it’s important that you be very bad at dancing.

Fortunately, for most of us, cutting wobbly shapes on the dancefloor comes as naturally as farting to a dog. Unfortunately, for most of us, after a few drinks it is easy to forget such limitations.

Yet even in the depths of your cups it is important to remember that if you are middle class and British you are not Snoop Dogg, you are not Elvis, you are not John Travolta,  and you sure as hell are not James Brown. At best you are most likely to be Tony Blair doing a Mick Jagger impression. Limit your ambitions accordingly and you will only look foolish instead of obscene.